Skragnon's Blog

Christmas Musings

December 25, 2012
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Christmas Eve has arrived, in all the snow coated glory that God could provide. It is a time for gathering together with our loved ones and reflecting upon the year that has passed. Some things have proven to be good, others not so much.
I sit here at this computer, wondering what I should write, fearing to release all that which I’m holding inside. Christmas is a time for reflection. A time of both joy and sorrow, we hold both tightly to our breasts. Holding on to those things that make our souls sing to the heavens, while fearing to let go of those things that have formed our lives, that pain we hide away from ourselves in those dark places. We know the pain is there, but we fear to confront it. Because without our fear what do we have? Peace.
Peace, not through the absence of fear, but the acceptance that fear is controllable. That we are more than our fears. That we are not controlled by our fears. That we control how we react to our fears. Knowing that ultimately fear is merely a reaction to the unknown, something primal and deeply engrained in our psyche. An unknown outcome, an unknown reaction, an unknown challenge from out of the dark, are all contributions to our fear, yet we can control how that fear manifests. It is our choice, our decision. We should never allow fear to control us.
Now that the dark has been dragged kicking before the lights of the Christmas tree, how do we proceed? We try to do so at peace. Peace is such a simple word, and much like it’s cousin love, is nearly impossible to quantify in any real terms. An absence of conflict can be construed as peace, but have both sides come to terms with the situation, or has only one side chosen to wait until a better time? An absence of fear could be peace, but does that not mean our peace can be shattered with a mere shout from the dark that stirs our blood? Ultimately, peace is an acceptance that we can’t control all the events around us, but again our actions to those events.
I find myself at peace. Not because I’m unafraid, but because I accept my fear as part of me and refuse to allow it to control me.
God bless you and yours. God bless those near and far. May God provide protection to those that deserve it, and guidance to those that need it. God bless those we have lost. God bless those I love, and those I fear.

I wish you all peace.


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May 17, 2010
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So, I haven’t posted in a while.  Reasons abound, but the short version is that life got in the way.

Work ramped up, school is still in session and the deadlines tend not to shift.  One week I saw my wife, while conscious I must add, for a total of about 5 minutes.

The good news is that work has returned to normal (as normal as that can be), and my wife is happy to have me home.  Well, at least as far as I don’t disturb her routine.

Summer is quickly approaching, with the harbinger date of Memorial Day just around the corner.  The last week of classes will swiftly pass, exams will arrive and depart with nary a whimper, and my summer will begin.  Four more years of school (at the minimum) yet lay before me.  Being on the downhill end of this educational slog means I can see the end, if not virtually taste the graduation glass of Scotch on my parched lips.  I’ll have to make sure I get something especially nice for the occasion.  Steak dinner for all?  Maybe.  There are many days between now and then.

Many nights of study and head shaking at the priorities of those kids in college.  Do I really get to call them kids?  I think so.  Hell, many of my fellow students were being born the year I graduated high school.  Do you think that qualifies?  Maybe I’m being ageist, but I would argue that a couple of more years, a marriage, three kids, a couple of cats and dogs, military service, travel and good friends who give one a healthy dose of reality gives one a perspective on life that I wish I could impart upon my fellow students.

Alas, I feel slightly melancholy over the whole prospect.  In the fall I will start classes with students I will never see again, and I will graduate with more that I have not yet seen.  Oddly enough I’m guessing a couple of the instructors at the school will have retired before I graduate.  I’m not a 90 year old great-grandmother getting her masters, but a near middle aged man working on that bachelors degree.  An associates can only take you so far before you run into the reality of the world.  A bachelors is the new high school diploma.  Sad really.

I’ve been listening to the 5,000 Year Leap.  It’s been excellent so far.  The discussion of the writings that shaped the Founding Father’s thoughts and beliefs was enlightening.  I already knew the concept of Natural Law, but never really delved into the origins.  Cicero?  The guy predates Christ!  I look forward to the rest.

Also reading Crucible of War, and Dust of Dreams.  Both are interesting.  Crucible really delves into the personalities that shaped the events of the world’s first global war.  The other is a fantasy novel, but the author in many ways examines philosophical views through his characters.  I usually can chew through fantasy novels pretty fast, but Erikson’s novels seem to need crib sheets and a handy reference for Kant.

More thoughts down the road.

    The profundity continues …

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